What a ride it's been these last four years!
I can't believe we are celebrating our four year wedding anniversary already! For sure has this been my longest relationship and sharing my life with my husband for a total of five years has brought on it's fair share of joys, excitement, sadness, and challenges. But, what remains constant through it all is our love and dedication for one another.
So, in celebration of doing life with this guy I thought it would be fun to share the 10 lessons I've learned in gif form because why not...
10. Our love changes and that's okay
The butterflies and anxiousness when he calls no longer happen for me, but our love is deeper. I may not have that sense of hot passion for him the same way I did when we first started dating, but being partners and being there for one another through those mountains and valleys is what bonds us.
I think it's so important for all of us married couples to be honest about what we're representing about our relationships, especially on social media - marriage isn't hard, it's the hard circumstances that make marriage challenging. It's okay to not have it all together all the time, but know that your love grows deeper and more connected through those challenging moments.
And just recognizing that over time a marriage changes and that's okay too.
9. Money will always stress us out
It doesn't matter if we are in abundance or having to stick to a firm budget, being open and communicating about financial business is so important to us as husband and wife. However, no matter how good our communication is, money will always be a source of anxiety and stress. But, we've just learned to be mindful of our spending, budget our finances together, and rely on each other to assure ourselves we're doing good.
8. My way isn't always the best way
I know, "whaaat?"
...and husbands everywhere...
via GIPHY
Especially since having a child I've been humbled on more than one occasion by my husband and his approach to doing certain things. It may not be the way I would do it, but I've learned over the years to respect that in this partnership there can sometimes be more than one way to approach or solve something....and there's plenty of times his way was better.
There. I said it.
...and husbands everywhere...
Especially since having a child I've been humbled on more than one occasion by my husband and his approach to doing certain things. It may not be the way I would do it, but I've learned over the years to respect that in this partnership there can sometimes be more than one way to approach or solve something....and there's plenty of times his way was better.
There. I said it.
7. Embrace the babysitter
It took me a little while longer than I expected to get this part down (and honestly I'm still working on it). Having Greyson with us all the time is great, I love him, but there are times where it's nice to go to a movie that isn't animated or grab drinks somewhere downtown with just my husband and not feel like we're on an episode of the Amazing Race. Everyone says how important adult time is when you're new parents and it's so true!
Find yourself a trustworthy babysitter and use them as much as possible!
6. A sense of responsibility should never end
I have learned over the years that being married gives me a sense of responsibility for myself; to strive to be better not just for me, but for my family as a whole. Marriage hasn't changed how we experience life in terms of the day-to-day things, but I feel that being a wife gives me a new sense of identity and one that I want to be proud of. I'm not perfect nor do I handle everything perfectly, but always working to be the best version of my self over time is a respect I'm happy to give.
5. Fights and mastering the art of forgiveness
Disagreements, especially over children, are almost destined to happen. My husband and I have had our fair share of spats but we always recover because our time together has taught us a lot. Communication, yes, is certainly key, but also knowing what the other person needs during a fight is just as important. Sometimes I want to be left alone and others I want to kiss, make-up, and forgive. Knowing what I need in the moment and telling my husband (and vice versa, of course) makes such the difference because it takes the guessing out of the equation.
Then, once the fight is over and some kind of resolution has been found...forgive and keep it moving.
4. Have support groups
Support groups are so, so important and especially as a newlywed or new parent. There's so much that lies ahead of us and sometimes when we're in the thick of it it's hard to see around the curve to the other side. And this is where I found that having close friends, veteran parents or spouses, and moms groups are helpful in having a place to connect that isn't your spouse.
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly, but there are times where it helps to connect and vent with someone that isn't the person you live with 100% of the time. There's something safe about talking it out with people who have been in similar situations and are alive to tell the tale.
3. Play the points game
One thing about #adulting and marriage (and see stress of finances above) is that you begin to care about things like APR and credit scores. Because of this we also picked up on how to play the points game.
What is that, you ask?
It's finding the perfect credit card that'll give you the best rewards, or points, for the dollars you spend anyways. We personally use our joint credit card as a debit card (i.e. for almost all of our purchases) and with that comes hundreds of points that we can save and use for travel. You can do this with multiple cards, but obviously you need to be extremely organized and keep your finances in check otherwise you'll be in over your head. But, when done right you can save thousands of dollars on the things you enjoy most.
2. Tag team with the kid
I love being a mom, but there's definitely times where I need help or a break. I love that my husband and I know when those moments are and tag team being with Greyson. I seriously think it's the best thing for us as a family!
1. Discussing faith and God's role in our marriage
This has been a big one, especially within the last couple of years. My husband and I were raised on two different planes when it comes to faith and somehow as adults we both had drifted. But, shortly before I met my husband I had gone through a major faith journey and found myself right again with God whereas my husband at one point considered himself agnostic. Over time and having an open mind, we began going to church service together and it's been a pretty remarkable experience to see how God has been working and influencing our steps.
Although my husband has begun to invite God more into his life and figuring his place with it all, I have noticed a difference in both of us and how we relate to each other and life's circumstances. Learning about God and his Word together has connected us in a much different way and our faith has deepened in the process. I'm excited to see where this all goes in the years to come, but I can say for sure that having open discussions on faith has rooted us in more than one way.
